The summer before I started college, my soon-to-be roommate told me I should sign up for a webpage on this little website called “Facebook”. Little did I know that in a few years, millions of people across the world (myself included) would slowly become addicted to this personal webpage. And that’s what Facebook is; a display of your personal interests, pictures, what you do in your spare time, when your birthday is, your religious and political views, sexual orientation, favorite movies, books, quotes, and the coveted Facebook relationship status. So what once started out as tiny website created for college kids to connect with friends across the U.S., has now gone global with people from age 12 to 75 signing up for accounts.

Every Facebook user can set their “privacy” options so that their account is viewable to all people who search for them; only to those they are already friends with, or only to those who share the same network (Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas Tech, UT, etc.). But essentially, every person who has a Facebook is sharing a lot of personal information about themselves with the general public, whether they realize it or not. There have even been warnings that large employers have paid Facebook for access to potential employees pages to see if they are the right material for the job. Pretty scary. But what is even scarier is the astounding cultural effect that Facebook has had on modern day relationships.

As it is inferred by the title of this blog, most of those crazy kids today think that their relationship with another person isn’t an official (i.e. committed) relationship unless it is branded by the Facebook name. People my age don’t “go steady” anymore and they don’t “go out”. They “talk”. This “talking” phenomenon normally occurs in the beginning stages of a relationship when there are a lot of awkward silences, trips to bathroom to check your makeup, and fixing your hair every time you see the guy. After the talking phase (if things go well), the couple will probably move to being “together”. Being together doesn’t even necessarily mean that either party in the relationship has addressed it. It’s sort of an unspoken togetherness. Finally, the big day will come. The day that you have that little “request” link on your Facebook homepage from your hunky sweetheart and you know that he wants to make it official by showing all of cyberspace that you are his. Ahh, the bliss. So this is what our culture has come to: only being committed to someone if it says that you are on a website. I remember learning about courtship back in the day where a guy and a girl went on two dates and then they were engaged. She got a ring. We get a relationship request. Lovely.

So after it’s officially on Facebook and everyone and their dog (yes, they actually do have Facebook FOR YOUR DOG) has commented on how cute you both are, it’s official, and public, and everyone knows you are taken. However…there is always that off chance that things could go awry between you and your Facebook lovah, which would mean ending the relationship, and having your break up publicly displayed for all to see: “Susie Q is no longer listed as ‘in a relationship’”. There is even a sad little broken heart icon next to it to show off the utter tragedy.
The drama that the Facebook relationship status has caused has hit close to home a few times, and close to my bedroom in college. One of my college roommates had to find out from her professor when she went to class one morning that she had been dumped. Their conversation went something like this:
Professor: Wow, I’m surprised you made it to class today.
Friend: Excuse me?
Professor: I figured you’d be at home crying because of your break up.
Friend: Umm…what break up?
Professor: Have you checked your Facebook today?
Friend: No…why?
Professor: Whoops….sorry. You got dumped this morning.
Friend = Mortified.

So people have even used Facebook as some bizarre form of relationship torture to break up with their significant other without even talking about it. The drama it has caused has even made national news! I was on ABCNews.com and saw that the first official “Facebook Divorce” happened the other day. A guy from the UK updated his “What are you doing right now?” status to read: “Neil Brady has ended his marriage to Emma Brady.” The sad part is that poor Emma, who is apparently not an avid Facebook user herself, had to find out about the inappropriate request for a divorce from a friend who happened to see it on her homepage news feed. Another girl interviewed for the article said she found out that her boyfriend had a double identity. Her friends encouraged her to sign up for a page and when she searched for her boyfriend, she found that he had two separate pages- one that listed him as in a relationship, and one in which he was in an “open relationship”. She promptly dumped him, making his alter ego Facebook no longer necessary.

I’m not trying to point fingers by any means. I’m just as guilty of it as the next person. We’ve all spent too much energy worrying about the label put on our relationships rather than putting all that energy into making the relationship work. So the next time a guy (or girl) asks you to be in a Facebook OFFICIAL relationship just remember that it’s not a marriage proposal (even those can be taken back as proved by the latest Bachelor, Jason…don’t get me started- more on that later). You be the one to define what your relationship is and what it’s going to be. And if you’re going to dump someone, just remember your Facebook manners and be classy about it!

XOXO